God hates divorce...but why?

God, who is perfect and holy, created marriage to be perfect and holy. Marriage is God’s third human creation in the garden. First, he said, “it isn't good for man to be alone” so He created a helpmeet comparable to him, woman. He took a rib from Adam and created Eve and Adam said, "At last this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:21-24. It is important to understand that when man and woman are joined, there are cemented together; adhered to one another to become once and for all a single kindred creation.

How amazing is God that He created woman from man? They are from the same from the beginning. This was God’s design, and every detail was carefully constructed.

Later in Genesis, we learn that when man disobeyed God and broke God’s law, that man brought sin into the world, and opened the door to sin and divorce. God’s creation is perfect, and divorce was never a part of the plan. It is our sin that created divorce.

Do you want to know what God thinks about divorce? Listen to His words, “’For I hate divorce,’ says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘and him who covers his garment with violence,’ says the LORD of armies. ‘So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.’” Malachi 2:16. In this passage, we see that God hates divorce because it causes violence, maybe not directly, but statistics show the following effects of divorce. 60% of woman live in poverty after a divorce; divorce negatively effects children behaviorally, cognitively and developmentally and these children are 50% more likely to commit suicide and use/abuse drugs or act out sexually. 71% percent of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes and are 20 times more likely to end up in prison. The divorce rate has dropped overall in the last few years, but this looks to be because children from divorced families are less likely to marry and have children of their own, and if they do decide to marry the get married much later. Divorced men have higher rates of mortality, substance abuse, depression, and lack of social support and the risk of suicide among divorced men is over twice that of married men. The rate of divorce for second marriages is 60% and 73% for third marriages, proving the grass is not greener. These statistics show us why God hates divorce. God knows how destructive divorce is.

“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:32. Sexual immorality is devastating to marriage, but it does not have to mean the end of a marriage. Jesus was no stranger to betrayal and yet he forgave. He forgave Peter for his denial and built his church on Peter’s back. In His mercy, He forgave the thief on the cross who repented. He also begs the Father for our forgiveness realizing we had no idea what we had done.

Matthew 5:32 is not instructing us divorce a spouse if they commit sexual sin and Jesus tells us in the Word that divorce was never a part of God’s plan. He said to the Pharisees when they asked Jesus if divorce was lawful, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” Matthew 19:8. Moses permitted a writ of divorce, but he did not command it and the only reason that Moses did permit it was because of the hardened and sinful hearts of the men towards their wives. They had lost sight of the purpose of the helper, the “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.”

Divorce is the result of our hidden and visible sin. Unrighteous anger, bitterness, jealousy, insecurity, unforgiveness, lust and fear are the sins that divide us and hinder our ability to connect with and love each other in a God-honoring way.

The problem with our marriages is not about our relationship with our spouses; the problem is that we do not understand God's design for marriage, and we fail to trust in him for our needs. We seek fulfillment in our spouse and not in God’s love for us. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Pray for and with your spouse, spend time in meditation listening to God, forgive your spouse as God has forgiven you, and most importantly Trust God! This is the prescription for a healthy marriage.