My testimony of prayer and restoration.

By Mary Lisa

“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day” -Psalm 46:5

I’ll never forget the morning when all hell broke loose in our marriage and in our home. It was a quiet April morning. I was already sleeping in a seperate room than my husband, the office on the futon. I had just woken up, our pugs were cuddled next to me and it wasn’t too long before our little pug Jack was shaking with fear. It all happened so fast, like a tornado came in and spoke death over me, my husband, our family and our home. My husband had a bag in his hand and left to never live with our family in that two-bedroom town home in Sacramento again...

I quickly discovered prayer was the most important thing I could do to connect with Jesus. I was in dyer need as the devastation of the enemy entered our home like a tornado to destroy it all. I literally was moved to my knees by the Spirit of God that morning. Shortly after that as I basked in my Bible constantly, I learned how powerful the Word of God is in a way I never knew before. I also discovered that praying through scriptures is one of the most effective ways to pray because His Word does not return void.  “It is the same with My Word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” -Isaiah 55:11.  

I did learn some things about prayer from others and the Holy Spirit working through my life that influenced the transformation of the way I prayed. I learned the seriousness of prayer, the supernatural power that was in prayer and that to never give up in prayer until it was answered. It was suggested to me to personalize my prayers.  It makes sense because when we seek the Lord through His Word, He will speak personally to us in our specific situation including through the stories in the Bible. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.”  -Hebrews 13:8

As I learned to pray God's will, I discovered that prayer is not so much about IF but WHEN. If God spoke it, He WILL do it, He does NOT lie.  What a comfort is was for me, a much afraid sinner to recogonize God does NOT lie. Oh how my trust and profession of Him was put to the test. Our responsibility is putting our faith in Jesus to fulfill that promise and being in right relationship with Him ourselves.  There is immense power in prayers and I believe many followers of Jesus (including myself before I was separated from my husband) have yet to truly fully experience its awesome power and supernatural results. "God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent; Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?” -Numbers 23:19

I discovered how much Jesus cares about details and being specific in my requests according to God's will was a delight to Him. For example, when I was separated from my husband, I desired him back home which is God's will. I sensed the Lord prompting me one day assuring me he was coming home but how did I want him to come home. I desired he come home repentant with love for me and a desire to have a better marriage which would align with what God would desire. Now if I said I want him to come home with a million dollars that is not the most important thing to God nor does He say anything in the Bible about that needing to happen. Now, I could still share that with the Lord if that was really on my heart as He is so kind and desires honesty. However, I believe the Lord cares the most about us knowing Him truly in our hearts and His best way in like that would bring Him the most glory. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” -Proverbs 4:23

Jesus is so sweet and cares about the details of our lives, how much more shall we bring Him the details! As I brought the Lord my petitions, I needed my heart checked at the same time.  There were areas I missed the mark in my relationship with God, in my marriage that contributed to the errors not only in my relationship with my husband but also with others. I needed Gods mercy.  May there be areas where you may have missed the mark and contributed to the errors in your life and marriage?  God is so kind and merciful to show us and forgive us. I learned it is best to begin prayer with praise, thanksgiving and worship to Jesus. I would identify a blessing in my life and give thanks to God for it, before I made my requests a lot of the time. “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.” -Psalm 136:1

I then presented my petitions and desires concerning my husband before God. As I prayed and was desperate for God to work in my situation, I sought Him to do whatever He wanted me to do. I learned to thank God for healing and answering my prayers before I saw it or heard it in the physical. “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  “And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” – I John 5:14-15

I learned that Jesus prayed often, and I believe Him to be the best example of prayer. He prayed constantly communing with the Father, seeking His will and fought off temptation in prayer. I longed for Jesus so badly perhaps deeper than ever before during our separation as my heart hurt so deeply (and so did my body as physically it literally felt like my flesh was being ripped apart). I needed Gods constant comfort and direction to restore my marriage as He promised with so much coming my way. I needed His Spirit to fight for me for the moments of strong temptation that came including but not limited to wanting to take my ring off, wanting to lash out at my husband, wanting to hold on to hurt and wanting to just give up.  So, prayer is Jesus' example and my experience was not a once a day thing or something to be taken lightly.  It became several times a day or night for a week or more until I saw results.  Some answers I had to wait for months...many months. "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." -Luke 5:16

I learned this way of leaning into and communing with Jesus was not just for a restored marriage or the day my husband came home with a new love for me. It was a setup for not only a better marriage while serving the Lord together but a new training ground for continuing to live a victorious life in Christ, the abundant life He came to give all His children.

I cannot recall a time in my life where I consistently sought God and Him alone for life issues before I was separated from my husband. I frequently looked to man’s opinion first. I am not trying to discount wisdom from Godly friends and family but at the end of the day no one will live with our spouses but us! We wives will be the ones accountable to God on judgement day what we did with our husbands and no one will be there with us, just us and our wonderful heavenly Father! I was misled not to compromise my independence, time and career for my husband. I painfully discovered this was not in my best interest nor God’s original design. Sadly, I believe this has contributed to more broken homes in our culture today. I found freedom giving up my independence, time and career for God’s best in my life and marriage. It really didn’t make sense in the beginning, was scary but my eyes were open to a new freedom. “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” -Genesis 2:22-24

During our separation, I lived like my husband was on his way home and wanted to be prepared if he suddenly walked through the door ready to be home (and it did happen suddenly!). During the waiting period, I took advantage of pretty much every opportunity that I would or could see him. I wore my wedding ring, related to him as my husband in a non-threatening way, set up the apartment I had to move into in a way like he was coming home (I saved a closet space for him and reserved the place where our marriage bed would be), practiced my cooking skills to be a better cook when he came home (I was a pretty bad cook before and still have work to do;/). I took care of my appearance to look my best regularly and prayed God’s Spirit would fill me to be a vessel for Him in the whole situation. I took advantage of every opportunity to see our puppies and kept my radar open if there was something I could help my husband out with (like taking his mom to the hospital or organizing the taxes).

As I continued to wait, it was recommended to me to do my prayers in a quiet, private place, without distractions at least 3 times a day if possible (like Daniel in the Bible). I didn’t always get to do this but still prayed even if I was walking our pugs or cleaning the house. I usually prayed similar prayers in the morning, around midday, evening around dinner and anytime from midnight to 3am. I had many restless nights so getting up to pray helped calm me to get some more rest. Praying and talking to God gave me the grace to keep walking, gave me strength to keep going, gave me His peace that He was in control, gave me patience to wait on Him and ultimately gave me His victory. “for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.” -1 John 5:4 Also a prayer partner who is in agreement can be very helpful to pray with you and believe with you. I had prayer partners during my separation and am so grateful!

I continued to search my heart and pray. Sometimes there was something blocking me. I remember the Lord would show me things through His Word and give me spiritual insight if something was off and needed to change in me. At times I combined fasting with prayer too which always produced results (I didn’t fast food due to health reasons but fasted things like coffee and social media for a set time) Many sleepless nights I felt the Lord woke me up and in these nights of prayer He was not only working in me but working in my situation. So instead of tossing, turning and worrying, I prayed. Most of the time these were powerful and intimate times with the Lord that I don’t get to have as frequent with my husband home!

As we seek the Lord in whatever our circumstances, He will show us the way as we take advantage of the opportunities He brings our way. The bottom line is in the end I had to cling the Lord and trust Him with my husband which I must continue one day at a time today. I am so grateful Jesus will always be the best husband forever and will never leave us or forsake us. "Let your living be without covetousness and be content with what you have already. For He has truly said: I will not fail you nor forsake you." -Hebrews 13:5